In October 2013, I found out I was HIV Positive. At the time, I was a year sober and attending 12 Step meetings nearly every day, where I had been told to search for a higher power of my own understanding. I prayed daily. I did everything I was supposed to, even when it felt like bullshit. And when I was diagnosed with HIV, I felt betrayed by a God I barely believed in or understood. I felt betrayed by AA and betrayed by myself. I was furious.