Getting Diagnosed with HIV Taught Me How to Live

“Hey Daddy, let me have your toxic load.”
“I’m sorry? What?” I replied.
“I want that poz load, daddy. I’m negative. Will you bury that infected load deep inside me?”
This was the beginning of a conversation I recently had on Scruff, a gay dating app. It was also the end of that conversation, because instead of lecturing this guy on the transmissibility, or lack thereof, of my undetectable HIV-plus “load,” I just blocked him.


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