This past weekend Clay and I had our first 5-Way together as a couple. We’ve had three-ways and one experience with another couple, but never a five-way.
I get nervous sometimes. Insecure. Jealous. I want to go fuck a bunch of guys with Clay. But I also want him to be all mine, to only want me: basically I want to go fuck a bunch of guys while Clay stands by and cheers me on, which is totally unrealistic as fuck.
So I have to learn to manage my feelings. Manage my insecurities and jealousies and basic cave-man-mentality.
Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I don’t. Life is one big learning curve and I am all over the place.