I am a man who believes in magick. In infinite possibilities. I am a man who has learned that we are limitless.
Many of you have been following me and know the story of my life, my loves, who I am, who the men I have loved and continue to love are. For those of you who don’t know, this is a very short version of that story.
In 2011 I met my husband, Alex. We fell in love and began an amazing journey. In 2014 we met Jon. And again we fell in love. And the three of us began a new amazing journey. We created a family that included two cats, Ash and Henry: named after characters in Evil Dead 2 cus that’s just who we are, and our little dog Paco. We live in a tiny yellow house in Hollywood. Not really the good part, but we love it here.
In 2015 Alex and I got married. We introduced Jon to our family and friends. We went to Vancouver and Berlin and Spain and France. And I learned the true meaning of love and family and friendship.
Life has a way of getting complicated and things changed. We changed. I ended up moving into my own room in our house. Alex and Jon continued to shared a room. I met a beautiful man in London, and fell in love and began a new chapter of the adventure, traveling first to London every five weeks, and then to Berlin.
But Alex and Jon and Jeff are family. Brothers. Alex and Jon are the best friends I have ever had. When people ask me about poly relationships this is what I keep coming back to: that maybe they change, maybe the way the relationship exists changes, but the love and the bond never changes.
I am bonded to Alex and Jon in ways I will never be to anyone else. Brothers. Family. Best Friends.
On February 9th, 2018 Jon went missing. On Febraury 19th they found Jon’s body. My best friend and brother, the man I have loved for the past four years, was dead.
And so now we are in this new stage of life. I continue to fly to Berlin, where I am held in love and beauty, where I am safe. Alex and I live in this magickal little house with our tiny animals, and Jon…well, I like to think Jon is just right there…because we are his family. And he is ours.
So I will find a way to write about this. In the various magazines I work for, and on this blog. I will try to find meaning in something that feels almost unbearable. We will bear it. We will hold it. Hot and full of pain and fury, but also full of love and beauty: full of Jon.
Thanks for reading. You can follow me at Facebook and on Instagram, at leavelljeff.