I’ve put a lot of thought into what I want from this blog.  Ever since my first entry, regarding my Triad relationship with my husband Alex and our boyfriend Jon, I’ve gotten daily emails from people all over the world trying to do what we are doing.  Trying to find a way to live outside the box, to be in love in ways that make sense to them: to expand what they have been told we are and how we must behave.  So in a way, this blog is now dedicated to that.  This is my story, it is our story: Alex and I first beginning down the  road of “monogamyish”, then meeting Jon, becoming a triad and the conversations we have around being open (a continuously fluid status for us) and what that means.  In some ways it is how we made it all work, where we failed and where we continue to succeed and fail.  It is also about love.  And fucking.  And that space in between, those moments of privacy: those moments of falling in love, and friendships.   I’d love your feed back.  What is missing.  What I could include more of.


This has been one of the most amazing adventures of my life.  I’ve learned so much about who I am and what I am capable of with these two guys, and all the other guys that we have encountered.  I’ve learned about love and what that word means to me, and my capacity to love.

Thanks for checking me out!   Feel free to stalk me or add me on instagram: leavelljeff.

3 thoughts on “About

  1. Thank you for sharing your personal lives. I just found your blogs today, as I tried to research Gay Triad Relationships. There’s no manual. We all go out to unchartered territory and find that we’re discovering daily. I had no idea the emotional toll opening a 6 year monogamish relationship into a Triad would be….the love….THAT DAMN WORD, LOVE…and the joys, pains, yearnings that word brings to us all! Thanks again. Your blog has filled me with hope, inspiration and courage and the wisdom to know the ups will be there and so will the downs! And those downs can be the building blocks for better ups!


  2. Subject: Vice news Blog “Why My Completely Open, Boundary-Free Relationship Works”

    Hi, I was really looking for more information about why your completely open relationship works and less about your recanting of your extramarital adventure in London. Not to say it wasn’t a fun read, just not what I expected. There wasn’t much said about the feelings and reactions from the other men involved. The impression I got was, “this works because you have dived completely into being selfish.”

    Not that its a wrong thing, perhaps that was the message, but I still wonder what the reactions were.


    1. Hey Terrance, thanks so much for your message. So, First, I would never do this if I hadn’t of already known that it was allowed in my relationship. As I say in the story, my husband Alex already has his own BF outside the relationship. Jon has had his outside experiences. We are totally and completely allowed to do this kind of thing. Regarding the title of the story, I don’t come up with that. The Vice Editors do. But I would say, my point in the story is we are in a new experience. We are trying to trust each other and to realize that much of my fears and insecurites (I don’t talk about it in this piece but I do in others of mine…I’m the jealous one. I’m usually the one who gets upset) come from my fear that I will be left, and so far I haven’t been. I don’t think Noah counts as an extramarital affair either. He is someone I am dating. Someone I’m allowed to date. Someone I want to see more of. But again, the reactions of Alex and Jon were supportive. They encouraged me to go back to London and see where this thing leads. Which is what I’m doing. Again, thanks so much for your comment!!!! That’s so awesome you wrote!


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